Anticipation

Recently, I've found myself recalling a particular day in my past where I felt some intense anticipation. On this occurrence, it was for a game: Trackmania United Forever.

At the time, I was working a paid internship at a local ABC TV affiliate (WBOY) doing motion graphics and cutting daily promos for Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, Oprah, Dr. Phil, and Rachel Ray. The work was relatively easy, so I spent much of the free time in between on gaming forums reading about new releases.

Those days, spending money on games was still pretty tough. Buying a game and making rent were always at odds, so I had to choose wisely. I had never played a Trackmania game before, but I got deeply wrapped up into the communal excitement of this game that I convinced myself that I had to have it.

On the day that it released, everything seemed to go so well at work. I cut the promos at a record pace and wrapped up most of my duties quite early in the morning. My boss Amanda dropped by for a bit of small talk and was surprised that I had completed everything so quickly. Rather than find more work to pile on me, she just gave me the day to relax in my office and browse the internet.

Amanda was a fun one to work for. On my first day, I noticed she had a tattoo of Pearl Jam's "Alive" stick man. Which led to us spending the first hour of my first day nerding out about Pearl Jam and sharing stories about when we had seen them live.

I spent the rest of the afternoon reading about the game, watching trailers, and checking out fan made videos from the previous entries in the series. I couldn't wait to try it out myself.

That communal build up of excitement for the game was something really special to me. If didn't have those moments of "escape" during the work day, the overall experience of the game wouldn't have been nearly as memorable.

That final "day off" in the office made it even sweeter somehow. It kind of felt like I was getting away with something, even though I wasn't. I was there at work where I was required to be, but I was given an extra dose of anticipation to wind down before heading home.

Written on June 1, 2021